Clout

Hi Reddit!
 
Sorry for the throwaway account, you know how it goes. 
 
I’m in need of some serious advice. My boyfriend (let’s call him David) is currently experiencing the death of his dog (let’s call him Socks). David had Socks for over eleven years and his family was devastated to learn that their beloved pet was hit by a car over the weekend. We found his body on the side of the road, down the street from David’s place, and his mother is especially torn up about it.
 
David made a huge post on Instagram with a ton of pictures of Socks and I was planning on printing them out so he could frame them, but can you folks suggest any other ways that I might help him through the grieving process? David hasn’t shown a lot of emotion since Socks passed and I’m worried that he isn’t going to be able to heal properly if he doesn’t at least cry a little over his lost pup. 
 
Any suggestions would be amazing. Thanks!
 
— 
 
Hi Reddit!
 
Back again: same throwaway, different question.
 
Thank you so much for all of your suggestions! David seemed to enjoy the photo book that I made him and the card that I wrote. To the person who gave me the idea to send flowers to his mom, that was perfect and she really loved them. 
 
My current dilemma is slightly different but definitely less morbid. David has been spending a lot more time on social media lately, which I don’t necessarily have a huge problem with, especially since I can get that way when I’m bored. The main issue is that he seems to be more and more invested in the amount of interaction he gets, his follower count, stuff like that — we’ve even gotten into arguments about how many likes he received on a photo of the two of us. 
 
I know the obvious answer is to talk with him about it, but is this even something worth bringing up? My gut reaction is that he’s probably still in a weird place mentally since his dog passed away, but I’ve never grieved over a pet and don’t know how long that process usually takes. 
 
Let me know what you think. Thanks!
 
— 
 
Hey Reddit,
 
Me again.
 
Since this is the only place I feel comfortable venting these days, I was hoping you kind folks could help me with another difficult situation that I’ve found myself in, and I want to preface this by saying that I feel awful even writing it. 
 
My boyfriend, David, was in a car accident last Thursday. He’s alive, thank goodness, but his car was totaled and he’s been in the hospital all weekend with two broken ribs. His mother and I have been taking shifts in his room and making sure that he’s okay and has everything he needs. His dad is going to let him use his car for work once David’s able to drive again, which is really kind of him, but we aren’t sure when he’ll be healed up at this point. (I’ll post the GoFundMe link in the comments, if anyone cares to donate.)
 
The problem is this: David asked me to set up some posts on social media, which he told me were “just so that everyone knows I’m okay,” but whenever it’s my shift to watch him at the hospital, that’s the only thing he wants to talk about. Yesterday morning, he even asked me to take photos of him in bed with his IV and monitors hooked up, just so he could put them up online. 
 
I do my best to encourage him to rest, but all he wants to do is see how many likes he’s getting or find out if anyone shared his pictures. It frustrates me to sit with him when he gets like this, especially because I brought up a similar issue to him over a month ago and nothing has changed. He constantly tells me that I “don’t know what I’m talking about,” but I’ve seen him leave the room just to check his Instagram and I feel like I’m going insane. 
 
AITA? Should I just play paparazzi for him while he’s healing and wait to really dig into the heart of the issue, or is now as good a time as any to have this conversation? 
 
Thanks again, everyone.
 
— 
 
Hey Reddit, 
 
I wanted to say a sincere thanks to everyone who commented on my last post, especially for those who donated to his Gofundme. It helped a lot. David and I talked it out and I think things are improving. He’s been making an effort to be on his phone less, if only when I’m around, so the situation is definitely looking up. 
 
My question this time is a little bit weird, more of a matter of opinion than a general moral quandary: do you believe in bad luck?
 
If you’ve seen my posts on here before, you might know that my boyfriend David has been having a really difficult couple of months. His dog was hit by a car and, a short while later, he was in a pretty rough accident which totaled his car. 
 
Then, last night, David called to tell me that his grandfather had fallen at home and needed to be taken to the hospital. When I asked if he wanted me to meet up with him and help out, he brushed me off and told me it was “a family matter,” which upset me considering how much I’d been helping him and his family over the past few months, but I tried not to take it personally.
 
I met David at the hospital this morning and, when I first saw his grandfather, I noticed that he looked a little worse than someone who had just “taken a fall.” His forehead had some bruising and a couple scratches, but he also had a black eye and a few visible sores on his chest like he had gotten into a fight. 
 
I can tell that David is really broken up about the entire situation because he put up a ton of old photos of his grandfather on Facebook (they’re actually really cool shots, I’ll post them in the comments) and wrote up a whole post about the guy. I hesitate to even bring this idea up to him because I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong.
 
TLDR: Is it possible that my boyfriend has bad luck? 
 
Sorry if this seems really out-there, I just feel really bad and my brain is trying to analyze the situation in any way that it can. 
 
Thanks, everyone. 
 
— 
 
Reddit, 
 
I’m at a loss. My boyfriend’s grandfather passed away very suddenly last night. His mother called me today to let me know that he didn’t make it and personally asked me to help her arrange the flowers for the funeral, which was a really nice gesture and definitely made me feel like part of the family. 
 
Things have been really tense with my boyfriend since his grandfather was taken to the hospital, and he’s been really standoffish lately. We haven’t been fighting, necessarily, but we’ve been going longer amounts of time without speaking to one another. Plus, whenever I get a chance to see him, he’s usually on his phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media, which is something that I’ve asked him to stop doing whenever we’re together. Considering that we’ve been together for over three years, this behavior seems strange. In my previous posts, many of you mentioned that grief can take lots of complicated forms and that it’s important to give space to people who are experiencing significant loss, especially for someone like David who’s had a string of terrible accidents recently. 
 
My question here is: should I still help with the funeral arrangements even though it feels like David and I have been drifting apart? His mother has always been kind to me and I know that she’s grieving the loss of her father, so doing what I can for her feels like the best decision, morally, but I’m still unsure of how to proceed. 
 
Thanks in advance. 
 
— 
 
Reddit,
 
I don’t know what to do. Long story short, my boyfriend created an Instagram Live for his grandfather's funeral and then posted screenshots of the video to his YouTube. He refused to invite me to the funeral or the wake, which made me feel terrible considering I helped with the arrangements at his mother’s request, but he somehow decided it would be okay for him to broadcast the event online to the entire world. 
 
AITA for asking him to take a break from social media for a while? 
 
Thanks.
 
— 
 
Reddit,
 
I’m back again. Sorry if you’re getting sick of my posts at this point, I just really don’t know where else to go to talk about this stuff. 
 
David and I got into a huge argument last night. His fixation with social media is getting way out of hand and I hit my breaking point when he complained that “only” fifty-six people shared the memorial post that he had made for his grandfather. I tried to explain my side of the situation but he blew up at me and called me insensitive for “not caring” about his grandfather or his “grief.” 
 
I told him that if he doesn’t do something to taper his social media use, or at least his obsession with earning clout, then he and I were finished for good. Obviously, he didn’t take that very well. He ended up throwing his phone at the wall near me and shattered the screen and the camera. The worst part is that he had the nerve to blame me for the whole thing and told me that I owed him a replacement. 
 
I left in a huff and haven’t spoken to him in two days. My problem is that I left a lot of my textbooks and school work over at his place and I need to get them back as soon as possible, without him throwing another fit. I don’t want to resort to calling the cops and having them back me up when I go over and get my stuff, so do you folks have any other suggestions on how I can peacefully get my stuff back from my frustrated boyfriend? (I think he’s still my boyfriend, not entirely sure where we stand now.)
 
Thank you so much for your help in advance. 
 
— 
 
Hi Reddit,
 
You folks have been so helpful, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. To the women who sent me messages about domestic violence resources, thank you. I don’t think I’ve suffered enough in order to reach out to the hotlines that were sent to me, and I don’t want to take up space for other women who might be going through situations that are much worse, but I’ll keep them on hand just in case. 
 
Someone mentioned that I should reach out to David’s mother in order to get my school stuff back, which was a great idea, since she and I will occasionally text one another, but I tried calling her last week and haven’t heard anything. I sent her several texts and even attempted to get in touch with her over Facebook. She may be taking David’s side in this situation, which I wouldn’t blame her for, but I did expect a courtesy reply, at the very least. 
 
Of course, David isn’t answering any of my calls or text messages, either, but he’s still posting on his Instagram (surprise, surprise), so I know he’s around. I tried sending him a direct message but I was met with the same silence from before. 
 
Any other suggestions as to how I can get my things back? (The sooner the better, since I can only ask for so many extensions on my assignments — gotta love college!)
 
— 
 
Reddit,
 
I woke up this morning to find out that my boyfriend’s mother was killed in a hit-and-run. 
 
She was the kindest, sweetest person. She treated me like a part of her family and always made me feel welcome in her home. 
 
David’s father called me to let me know what happened, since he saw all of the missed calls from me on his wife’s phone once they gathered it from the scene. I found out long before he gave me the call, though, since David created a huge Instagram post about it and was posting photos of himself crying on Facebook. 
 
Here’s the dilemma: should I attend her funeral even though her son and I haven’t spoken in almost two weeks? I want to honor her memory, and I know that David’s father would love to have me there, but I feel so conflicted because of my feelings towards their son. 
 
As always, any advice helps.
 
— 
 
Hey Reddit, 
 
Your kind and helpful words really made me feel a lot better about the situation, so I wanted to thank everyone who commented on my last post before I proceed. 
 
David and I are back together. I know, I know — it’s probably a bad idea. He approached me after his mother’s funeral and told me how much he misses me and how badly he needs me “after everything that’s happened.” Who am I to refuse someone who’s experienced so much loss in such a small amount of time? It broke my heart to see him so upset.
 
Since Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, I wanted to do something nice for David’s dad so that he isn’t completely miserable or left on his own. I thought that a dinner with the three of us would be a really nice idea, but David mentioned that he has a ”special surprise” for me on Valentine’s Day and that I shouldn’t make any plans for that day or for the rest of that weekend. 
 
So, how can I help a grieving widower not feel so alone on a day when everyone else will be celebrating their love? He’s a great guy and I really want to make sure that he’s okay.
 
Thanks!
 
— 
 
Hi Reddit,
 
I tried looking this up on Google, but I got some conflicting answers: how do you know if there’s a gas leak in your home?
 
My boyfriend just left, otherwise I would have him come over and take a look, but there is a weird smell that I can’t identify and it’s making me super nervous. I called my landlord and left a voicemail about it, but he probably won’t respond until the morning. 
 
Is it safe for me to stay here tonight? I did call my boyfriend and explain the situation, but he said it was probably my garbage disposal and that I shouldn’t worry too much about it, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. 
 
Do you folks know of any areas in the apartment that I definitely need to check? I made sure the stove was off, but I have no clue where else to look. The smell is really strong and opening the windows doesn’t seem to be doing much. I’m going to sleep on the patio and leave the fans running, since that’s the best I can do for now, but I’ll report back in the morning.
 
Thanks!
 
—- 
 
Reddit,
 
Help me. Please. I’m freaking the fuck out.
 
I woke up to see an Instagram post from my boyfriend that said I had passed away this morning, mentioned something about a gas leak (if you read my previous post, you’ll understand why this is scaring the hell out of me), and talked about how ironic and tragic it was that I died on Valentine’s Day. He posted a ton of photos that we had taken together and wrote this whole long message about how much he loved me and would miss me. I’ll post the link in the comments so you can see what I’m talking about and I can prove I’m not making this up.
 
This is so fucked up. I tried leaving multiple comments on the post to clarify that I was, in fact, not dead, but they kept getting deleted. I called David immediately but he didn’t pick up, and now his phone is off. I have no idea why he did this, but he isn’t answering my text messages and it’s scaring the shit out of me. 
 
What should I do? Is this some weird, viral prank that I don’t know about? I don’t want to call the cops if this is just something that David is going to end up posting on YouTube later.
 
I’m really worried. Am I overreacting?
 
As always, any advice would be appreciated. 
 
Thanks.
 
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hey everyone!! :)
 
my girlfriend used to go on this site a lot (still not sure why lol) so I thought I’d come here to let her friends know that she unfortunately passed away :(
 
if you wanna find out some more info, I posted about it on my insta and my youtube (hit the links and follow!) if any of you wanna check it out! (also if you wanna donate to my gofundme I wouldn’t say no to that either lol)
 
let me know if you guys need anything, I know this is hard to hear :( 
 
bye!! (& don’t forget to hit up my youtube)